Media Use Regulation
What is Media Emotion Regulation?
Media emotion regulation is when parents use screens like phones, tablets, or TVs to manage children’s emotions, especially difficult emotions like tantrums, distress, or boredom. This might look like:
- Handing a child a device to calm a tantrum
- Using a show to distract a child who is upset
- Offering a game to prevent a meltdown in public
References
Coyne, Sarah M., Peter J. Reschke, et al. “Silencing Screaming with Screens: The Longitudinal Relationship between Media Emotion Regulation Processes and Children’s Emotional Reactivity, Emotional Knowledge, and Empathy.” Emotion, vol. 23, no. 8, Dec. 2023, pp. 2194–204. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0001222.
Coyne, Sarah M., Jane Shawcroft, et al. “Tantrums, Toddlers and Technology: Temperament, Media Emotion Regulation, and Problematic Media Use in Early Childhood.” Computers in Human Behavior, vol. 120, July 2021, p. 106762. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2021.106762.
Why Do Parents Use Screens to Soothe
Parents often turn to media because:
- It works quickly
- It stops public meltdowns
- It gives parents a moment to breathe
- Children respond positively to familiar shows or games
This is especially common with children who have more reactive or intense temperaments. Kids whose parents frequently use screens to calm them down tend to have a harder time with their emotions, but kids’ development comes from many places, not just device time. The long-term effects were mixed because some of the kids whose parents used media to help regulate emotion showed more empathy and understanding of others. More research is needed to understand how all these pieces fit together.
References
Coyne, Sarah M., Jane Shawcroft, et al. “Tantrums, Toddlers and Technology: Temperament, Media Emotion Regulation, and Problematic Media Use in Early Childhood.” Computers in Human Behavior, vol. 120, July 2021, p. 106762. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2021.106762
What Does the Research Say?
Parents often turn to screens when caring for toddlers who are easily upset or intense. The 2021 study found that parents use media more frequently to soothe children with more difficult temperaments, but this approach is linked to a higher risk of problematic media use, such as toddlers melting down when screens are taken away or appearing dependent on them. Over time, this pattern may mean children rely on screens for comfort instead of building their own calming skills.
Together, these studies suggest that while screens may help calm big emotions quickly, frequent use may interfere with children learning to regulate emotions through real‑world interactions and relationships. They show that both temperament and parental soothing habits play a role in how children respond to media and develop emotional abilities over time.
References
Coyne, Sarah M., Jenny Radesky, et al. “Parenting and Digital Media.” Pediatrics, vol. 140, no. Supplement_2, Nov. 2017, pp. S112–16. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2016-1758N.
Coyne, Sarah M., Peter J. Reschke, et al. “Silencing Screaming with Screens: The Longitudinal Relationship between Media Emotion Regulation Processes and Children’s Emotional Reactivity, Emotional Knowledge, and Empathy.” Emotion, vol. 23, no. 8, Dec. 2023, pp. 2194–204. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0001222.
Coyne, Sarah M., Jane Shawcroft, et al. “Tantrums, Toddlers and Technology: Temperament, Media Emotion Regulation, and Problematic Media Use in Early Childhood.” Computers in Human Behavior, vol. 120, July 2021, p. 106762. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2021.106762.
Is Using Screens to Soothe Always Bad?
Not at all. Dr. Coyne’s research doesn’t say parents should never use screens. Instead, it highlights:
- Occasional use is normal and sometimes necessary.
- Problems arise when screens become the primary calming tool.
- Children need practice with non‑screen soothing strategies to build lifelong emotional skills.
Using screens to soothe children is not always entirely bad, but it does come with important cautions. In the short term, relying on screens to calm big emotions is linked to children showing more emotional reactivity, weaker understanding of emotions, and lower empathy, as well as behaviors that look like problematic media dependence, such as melting down when screens are removed. These findings show that frequent screen‑soothing can interfere with children developing their own calming skills and may contribute to emotional challenges.
However, the research also shows that the story is more complex. Over the course of a year, children who were soothed with media earlier on actually showed increased empathy later, suggesting that the long‑term effects aren’t entirely negative and may vary depending on the child and family context. Dr. Coyne’s work emphasizes that media use happens within the broader parent‑child relationship, and screens are just one part of a larger emotional environment.
In other words, screen‑soothing isn’t automatically harmful on its own, but frequent reliance on it may make it harder for children to build emotional skills if it becomes a primary strategy.
References
Coyne, Sarah M., Jenny Radesky, et al. “Parenting and Digital Media.” Pediatrics, vol. 140, no. Supplement_2, Nov. 2017, pp. S112–16. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2016-1758N.
Coyne, Sarah M., Peter J. Reschke, et al. “Silencing Screaming with Screens: The Longitudinal Relationship between Media Emotion Regulation Processes and Children’s Emotional Reactivity, Emotional Knowledge, and Empathy.” Emotion, vol. 23, no. 8, Dec. 2023, pp. 2194–204. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0001222.
Coyne, Sarah M., Jane Shawcroft, et al. “Tantrums, Toddlers and Technology: Temperament, Media Emotion Regulation, and Problematic Media Use in Early Childhood.” Computers in Human Behavior, vol. 120, July 2021, p. 106762. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2021.106762.
Healthy Alternatives to Using Media to Calm Children
While screens are not always bad, parents should balance screen‑soothing with other calming tools. Self‑soothing is a crucial part of self‑regulation in early childhood and it matters for the long run. Children with stronger self‑regulation tend to do better in school and relationships and are less likely to struggle with behavior and mental health problems later in life. Kids build these skills through steady support from caregivers, a process called co‑regulation, where warm, responsive interactions help children practice calming strategies and develop healthy physiological coping to stress. Screens can still be part of the toolbox—just not the only tool. Other ideas of how to help your child regulate through emotion are deep breathing, naming emotions, offering quiet time to reset, and creating routines so children know what to expect.
References
Armstrong‐Carter, Emma, et al. “Self‐regulated Behavior and Parent‐child Co‐regulation Are Associated with Young Children’s Physiological Response to Receiving Critical Adult Feedback.” Social Development, vol. 30, no. 3, Aug. 2021, pp. 730–47. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.1111/sode.12498.
Erdmann, Kim Angeles, and Silke Hertel. “Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation in Early Childhood – Development, Assessment and Supporting Factors.” Metacognition and Learning, vol. 14, no. 3, Dec. 2019, pp. 229–38. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.1007/s11409-019-09211-w.
Robson, Davina A., et al. “Self-Regulation in Childhood as a Predictor of Future Outcomes: A Meta-Analytic Review.” Psychological Bulletin, vol. 146, no. 4, Apr. 2020, pp. 324–54. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000227.
How to Use Screens More Mindfully
Helping children manage big feelings is a gradual process, and screens can sometimes play a helpful role when used thoughtfully. Research shows that relying on screens too often to calm children can be linked to emotional challenges in the moment, but mindful, intentional use paired with supportive parenting practices can help children develop stronger emotional skills over time. The goal is not to remove screens entirely, but to use them alongside other calming tools so children still have daily opportunities to build self‑soothing and coping skills with a caregiver’s support. Tips for mindful use of screens include:
- Save screen‑soothing for moments when you truly need it.
- Pair screen use with conversation (“Let’s take a break with a show, then we’ll try again”).
- Gradually introduce non‑screen calming strategies.
- Notice patterns—are screens becoming the default?
References
Coyne, Sarah M., et al. “Silencing Screaming with Screens: The Longitudinal Relationship between Media Emotion Regulation Processes and Children’s Emotional Reactivity, Emotional Knowledge, and Empathy.” Emotion, vol. 23, no. 8, Dec. 2023, pp. 2194–204. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0001222